Christmas Love Letter for Him or Her: 6 Examples to Adapt, and What Browning, Truman and Bonhoeffer Wrote
Six Christmas love letter examples for a boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse, plus real Christmas letters by Browning, Truman and Bonhoeffer, with sources.
On Christmas morning 1845, Robert Browning had to go out, but first he answered the letter Elizabeth Barrett had sent him the day before. He opened with the words "My dear Christmas gift of a letter!" A good Christmas love letter is short and specific in the same way. It says where you are as you write, names one real thing from your year together, says "I love you" in plain words and looks ahead to the next year. Below are three real Christmas love letters, quoted from archive copies and early printings, then a five-step method and six Christmas love letter examples for a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife that you can adapt.
Christmas 1845: Robert Browning and Elizabeth Barrett
The two poets had been writing to each other since January 1845 and had met in May. By December they were secretly in love. Elizabeth was an invalid who rarely left her father's house at 50 Wimpole Street in London, and her father would not let his children marry. Most of their courtship took place on paper. On the Sunday before Christmas she sent him a long letter that ended like this:
I think of you always. May God bless you. 'Love me for ever,' as / Your / Ba
Elizabeth Barrett to Robert Browning, postmarked 24 December 1845 (The Letters of Robert Browning and Elizabeth Barrett Barrett, 1845–1846, vol. 1, 1899)
It reached him in time for Christmas morning. He wrote back at once:
My dear Christmas gift of a letter! I will write back a few lines, (all I can, having to go out now)—just that I may forever,—certainly during our mortal 'forever'—mix my love for you, and, as you suffer me to say, your love for me ... dearest! ... these shall be mixed with the other loves of the day and live therein
Robert Browning to Elizabeth Barrett, 25 December 1845 (same edition)
What makes this a Christmas letter is the idea that their love is now "mixed with the other loves of the day": Christmas will carry it from then on. He also says outright that he has no time. Two days later he wrote again, beginning "I was forced to leave off abruptly on Christmas Morning", and repeated her own words back to her: "'For ever' and for ever I do love you, dearest". The lesson: a rushed letter written on the day beats a polished one written in January. Answer the other person's words, too. Browning picks up her "Love me for ever" and gives it back to her.
Her reply, postmarked 27 December, is funny. The post office closed for the holiday, so his letter was the only one she got:
I had your letter yesterday morning early. The post-office people were so resolved on keeping their Christmas, that they would not let me keep mine.
Elizabeth Barrett to Robert Browning, postmarked 27 December 1845 (same edition)
For her, "keeping Christmas" meant getting his letters. The two married in secret nine months later, in September 1846, and left for Italy. If the person you love lives for your messages, a Christmas letter is the present that costs nothing and gets kept.
Christmas 1917 and 1918: Harry Truman to Bess Wallace
Before he was president, Harry Truman spent two Christmases in the army, away from Bess Wallace in Independence, Missouri. They were engaged but not yet married. On Christmas Eve 1917, while he was training in Oklahoma, he sent a night telegram. Telegrams were charged by the word, which explains the missing commas:
MERRY XMAS WISH I COULD BE PRESENT TODAY WE ARE HAVING SOME XMAS DOWN HER BUT ITS NOT LIKE HOME HOPE ANOTHER WONT PASS WITH ME AWAY
Harry S. Truman, telegram to Bess Wallace from Oklahoma City, 24 December 1917 (Truman Library, HST-FBP_4-74_01)
Another did pass with him away. In December 1918 he was a captain commanding Battery D of the 129th Field Artillery in France. On 26 December he wrote her four pages on Knights of Columbus notepaper. Most of the letter describes the battery's Christmas: a hog bought for 1,291 francs ("I hope I choke if ever I pay that much for a squealer again"), a cook who drank the officers' wine and had to be pulled out from under the kitchen table, and boxing matches at the Y.M.C.A. Only at the very end does he turn to her:
My what I'd do or give to get to see you this New Years as I did last. Whenever I think of it I am so homesick I nearly die. I am plum crazy to see you. I just love you more than ever and can't help it and don't want to.
Harry S. Truman to Bess Wallace, 26 December 1918 (Truman Library, HST-FBP_6-06_01; quoted with a repeated "to get" removed)
This is the most useful model on the page, because almost anyone can write it. Truman doesn't try to sound romantic. He tells her about his Christmas the way he'd tell her over dinner, and then he says how he feels in four plain sentences. The pork, the cook and the boxing make the ending believable. They married in June 1919.
Christmas 1944: Dietrich Bonhoeffer to Maria von Wedemeyer
The hardest Christmas love letter on this page was written in a cell under the Gestapo headquarters on Prinz-Albrecht-Straße in Berlin. Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a Lutheran pastor, was being held over the plot against Hitler. He had become engaged to Maria von Wedemeyer shortly before his arrest. On 19 December 1944 he wrote to her and enclosed a poem, "Von guten Mächten", "als ein Weihnachtsgruß für Dich und die Eltern und Geschwister" ("as a Christmas greeting for you and the parents and brothers and sisters"). In the letter he tells her who the "good powers" of the poem are:
Du, die Eltern, Ihr alle, die Freunde und Schüler im Feld, Ihr seid mir immer ganz gegenwärtig." ("You, the parents, all of you, the friends and students at the front: you are always fully present to me.")
Dietrich Bonhoeffer to Maria von Wedemeyer, 19 December 1944 (original at Houghton Library, Harvard, MS Ger 161 (43); our literal translation)
The last verse of the poem he sent with it is now sung in German churches at New Year:
Von guten Mächten wunderbar geborgen / erwarten wir getrost, was kommen mag. / Gott ist mit uns am Abend und am Morgen / und ganz gewiss an jedem neuen Tag." ("Wonderfully sheltered by good powers, / we wait calmly for whatever may come. / God is with us in the evening and the morning, / and most surely on every new day.")
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, "Von guten Mächten", December 1944 (our literal translation)
Bonhoeffer was executed at Flossenbürg concentration camp on 9 April 1945. You'll probably never write a letter like this, but it teaches something that matters for anyone apart from the person they love at Christmas, whether because of deployment, hospital, distance or a family split. Don't only say you miss them. Tell them that you feel them with you, and where. Bonhoeffer turns being apart into being "always fully present".
Four letters from three Christmases, side by side
| Writer | When and where | What the letter does | What to borrow |
|---|---|---|---|
| Robert Browning | 25 December 1845, London | Replies within hours to her letter, though he has to go out | Answer their words; send it on the day, even if it's short |
| Elizabeth Barrett | 27 December 1845, Wimpole Street | Jokes that the closed post office stole her Christmas | Let the letter be funny; say what their letters mean to you |
| Harry Truman | 24 December 1917 and 26 December 1918, Oklahoma and France | Tells the whole messy Christmas first, then says he misses her and loves her | Ordinary details first, then four plain sentences of feeling |
| Dietrich Bonhoeffer | 19 December 1944, Berlin | Tells his fiancée she is present with him, then sends a poem as a Christmas greeting | When you're apart, say where you feel them with you |
A Christmas love letter in five moves
The letters above have something in common, and it isn't fine writing. Each one does a few plain things in order. You can copy that order without copying a word.
- Put the day on the page. Start with where you are and what the house, the street or the weather is doing as you write. "It's Christmas Eve and the tree lights are the only lights on" is enough. It makes the letter feel written today, not bought in a shop.
- Name one thing from this year. Not "this year was amazing". One thing: the move, the new job, the night the car broke down, the week one of you was ill. A love letter at Christmas is partly a look back, and one real thing does more than a list.
- Say what he or she did that you noticed. People rarely hear which of their small habits are loved. Pick one and describe it as you'd describe it to a friend.
- Say the plain sentence. "I love you" or "I'm glad it's you", written out, not implied. Browning and Truman both say it in so many words, near the end of the letter.
- Look one step ahead. Christmas sits a week before the new year, so end with something small you want to do together next year. A promise you can keep beats a big one.
Length: a card holds about 40 to 60 words. One handwritten page holds about 200 to 250. If you can't decide, write the page and then copy its best three sentences into the card. For more on the first and last lines, see how to start and end a love letter.
Six Christmas love letters to adapt
These are examples we wrote for this page, not historical letters. Words in square brackets are where your own details go. Don't skip them: the bracketed parts are what make a letter yours. Read them out loud once before you copy anything, and change any phrase you wouldn't say.
1. A short Christmas love letter for your boyfriend (card size)
Merry Christmas, [name].
This is the [first / third / tenth] Christmas I get to spend with you, and it's still the part of December I look forward to most. Thank you for [one thing he did this year]. I love you, and I'd pick you again every year.
[Your name]
About 50 words: it fits inside a standard card with room for your signature. Choose the thank-you item carefully. "For driving four hours when my dad was in hospital" says more than "for always being there".
2. A longer Christmas love letter for your boyfriend (one page)
Dear [name],
I'm writing this on [day] with [what's around you: the tree half done, the radio on, the cat asleep on the wrapping paper]. I wanted to write it before the rush starts, so that something this Christmas is quiet.
When I think about this year, I keep coming back to [one moment]. I don't think you know how much that mattered to me. [Say why, in one or two sentences.]
Here's something I've never told you: I love the way you [small habit]. I notice it every time.
I don't need anything under the tree. I mean that. What I'd like is [one small plan for next year], with you.
I love you. Merry Christmas.
[Your name]
This one follows the five moves in order. If your relationship is new, swap "this year" for "these months". If he isn't a letter person, hide it in a coat pocket or inside the box of his present, so he finds it after the noise of the morning.
3. When you're apart at Christmas (long distance)
[Name],
By the time you read this it will be [Christmas Eve / Christmas morning] where you are, and I'll be [hours] behind or ahead, doing [what you'll be doing]. I've worked out that when you open this, it's [time] for me. So picture me there.
I miss [one ordinary thing: your cold feet, your terrible carols, the way you make coffee]. It's the ordinary things I notice most when you're not here.
This is the last Christmas we spend on different [continents / sides of the country]. [Or, if you can't promise that: Every Christmas apart is one fewer before the first one together.]
I love you. Open the [small thing you've sent] now.
[Your name]
Post it early: international mail around Christmas is slow. If time has run out, photograph the handwritten page and send the picture, then post the original anyway. Our long-distance love letters page covers the rest of the year.
4. A funny Christmas love letter
Dear [name],
Official Christmas review of my boyfriend, [year].
Strengths: [real strength], [real strength], excellent at [something silly he's proud of].
Areas for improvement: wrapping (see exhibit A, under the tree), [a harmless habit you tease him about].
Overall rating: I'd keep him. In fact I'd like to renew the contract for another year, same terms, more [his favourite food].
Merry Christmas. I love you, even the wrapping.
[Your name]
A joke letter works when the teasing is about things he already laughs at himself. Keep one sentence completely serious (here, "I'd keep him" and the last line), or the whole letter reads as a joke.
5. A Christmas love letter for her (girlfriend)
Dear [name],
It's [day], and I've been trying to decide what to get you for weeks. In the end I decided to write this first, because the present is the easy part.
This year you [one thing she did, big or small]. I saw how hard that was, and I was proud of you.
I love that you [one specific habit]. I love that you [another]. And I love that with you, even [a chore you do together] feels like something I'd choose to do.
Merry Christmas. I'm happy it's you.
[Your name]
"I saw how hard that was" is the line to keep if you keep nothing else. Being noticed is the gift. If you're writing to a crush rather than a girlfriend, this is too much; our letter to a crush page has a lighter version.
6. For a husband or wife, after many Christmases
[Name],
That's Christmas number [number] together. I counted.
I remember [the first one: where you were, what went wrong]. We've had [better / bigger / quieter] ones since, but I still think about that one.
This year was [honest word: hard / busy / good]. Thank you for [what they carried this year].
I don't say it enough, so I'm writing it down where you can keep it: I love you, and I'd marry you again.
[Your name]
Long marriages run on shorthand, so a letter that spells things out can feel strange to write. Write it anyway. The line "where you can keep it" is the point: in a long marriage, people keep these. For year-round versions, see our love letters to a wife and to a husband.
Christmas love notes short enough for a gift tag
Sometimes there's only room for a gift tag, a sticky note on the coffee maker or a text at midnight on Christmas Eve. These are our own lines, written for this page. Each one does one of the five moves above in under 25 words.
- "First Christmas with you. I already know it's my favourite."
- "The best thing under this tree is asleep on the sofa."
- "This year had [hard thing] in it, and you in it. You won."
- "I'd give back every present for one more year like this one."
- "Apart this Christmas, together the next. Open this at [time]. I'm thinking of you right now."
- "Thank you for [one thing]. I noticed. Merry Christmas, love."
- "Still my favourite person to wake up next to on Christmas morning, [number] years in."
- "Next year's plan: [small plan], you, me. Merry Christmas."
Copy a line into the card, then add one sentence only you could write. That second sentence is the part they'll remember.
Five things that make a Christmas letter sound like a card
- Season words with nothing behind them. "Magical", "joy", "festive" and "the most wonderful time of the year" belong to the card company. Truman's letter has a hog, a drunk cook and a boxing match, and it's much more romantic.
- Thanking them for "everything". Thank them for one thing and say when it happened.
- Apologising for the present. Don't spend the letter on the gift. The letter is part of the gift.
- Writing it on 24 December at 11 p.m. Browning got away with it, but he'd been writing to her almost every day for a year. Write a draft a week early, then add one line on the day.
- Forgetting the date. Put the date at the top. Couples keep these letters, and in ten years the date is what makes it a Christmas letter.
Quick questions
What do you write in a Christmas love letter?
Start with where you are as you write, mention one real moment from your year together, name one thing the person does that you love, say "I love you" plainly, and end with something you want to do together next year. That's five short paragraphs, or five sentences if it's going in a card.
How long should a Christmas love letter be?
A card holds about 40 to 60 words. A handwritten page holds about 200 to 250. Truman's 1918 letter ran to four pages, but nearly all of it is news, and the love part is four sentences at the end. Length matters less than one specific detail.
When should you give a Christmas love letter?
Give it when there's quiet: on Christmas Eve, or hidden where they'll find it after the morning rush, such as inside the box of a present or in a coat pocket. If you live apart, post it in early December. Barrett's letter of 27 December shows that the post office keeps Christmas too.
Is a love letter enough as a Christmas present?
It can be, if you tell them so ahead of time and the letter is properly written, not a few lines in a card. Many people keep a handwritten letter long after they've forgotten the gift. If you'd also like to give something small, pair it with the letter. For a list-style alternative, see our reasons why I love you page.
Sources
- The Letters of Robert Browning and Elizabeth Barrett Barrett, 1845–1846, vol. 1 (Smith, Elder, 1899), letters postmarked 24 December 1845, 25 December 1845 and 27 December 1845 (both letters of that date). Project Gutenberg #16182.
- Harry S. Truman, telegram to Bess Wallace, 24 December 1917, HST-FBP_4-74_01, and letter to Bess Wallace, 26 December 1918, HST-FBP_6-06_01, Papers of Harry S. Truman Pertaining to Family, Business and Personal Affairs, Harry S. Truman Library and Museum. Transcriptions at Missouri Over There.
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer to Maria von Wedemeyer, 19 December 1944, Houghton Library, Harvard University, MS Ger 161 (43), as cited by Art & Theology. The quoted letter sentence is from evangelisch.de (19 December 2024); the poem's last verse is from Planet Wissen. English translations are ours.
All six example letters, and the short notes above, were written by our editors for this page. If you're writing for Valentine's Day or an anniversary instead, start with how to write a love letter.
